Sunday, February 1, 2009

It has been a year....

Where was I one year ago???

I was on my way to pick up my nephew in Mesquite, have dinner with my sister, and get the finishing touches for Logan's 5th birthday party....oh yeah...I was also 11 weeks pregnant...We ate at Bakers Ribs in Mesquite, and headed back to Arlington. I was not feeling well, maybe it was the food or just the stress of it being the 1st of the month...If you are close to me you have heard this story, if you don't want to read on I understand. It really hit me last week, and I just have to do this for what ever therapy or remembrance I need. Below is the blog I posted on Myspace last year.

VERY IMPORTANT NEWS!!!!!
This blog comes from me with a heavy heart!!! I want to say thanks to all of you for your thought and prayers.
On Friday night about midnight I woke up and was hemorrhaging pretty bad. I called my doctor office, but Dr Neil was on call, not my doctor so we made an executive decision. Ray and I went to the hospital about 1:00am. We were whisk away to an ER Room with in minutes of arriving. The ER Dr was great, once we got in the room, I continued to bleed, and the dr did a sonogram...He found a machine in the hall and brought it in and just did it. He said he was not a Sono Tech, but he had to do it. Once he was done, he stated he saw an empty sack. Then he turned to the nurse and told her to get ready for an exam.
He did an regular gyno exam to measure the amount of blood loss, at this point I realized that no matter how much preparing we had done over the week and a half it was completely different when the doctor started talking D & C.
So I guess I need to back up. Shortly after my initial appointment on Jan 23, I started spotting, I saw the doctor the following Wednesday on Jan 30, we could not hear the heartbeat. We did not worry, he felt about 90% sure everything was fine, due to my 'extra padding' and not hearing Logan's until 16 weeks I was not worried either. Fast forward to Friday Feb 1, 2008.
Ray got a phone call at 10:30am he did not have to work that night, I was so glad. We went to Garland and picked up my nephew James and had dinner with him and Pete. I had some discomfort, but just passed it off as sitting for so long, and wearing my jeans. We got home messed around with the boys and started getting ready for bed.
So back to the hospital, after the gyno exam a paramedic came in and started an IV...that is never good, ( Do you know the difference between a nurse and a paramedic??? The medic can do almost everything the dr can. See you do learn something new everyday!!) I asked for a drink and was told 'NO' that is not good either!!! So Lisa came up to the hospital she took the first shift at the hospital with Ray. A full Sonogram was ordered, and about 3:30am I was taken to an Ultrasound Room, and the tech started doing the sono....and 'I CAN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING SO DON'T ASK'...Those people really upset me!!!! So then she started doing an internal one....never had one...am not really looking forward to another one any time soon! Where Ray was sitting he could see the screen and did mention that he was not able to see anything on the internal one. By this time the bleeding had slowed down alot.
We got taken back to the ER and was put in a very nice room....ROOM 1...for once I was 1....the nurse and registration lady came in, it was about 4:30am and the doctor came back in. He said they had called in Dr Neil and that he had ordered a D & C. Now keep in mind Logan's 5th birthday party is 12 hours away!!! Dr Neil come in and he was super nice and supportive, he explained to me what was going to happened and I explained to him that I had to be at that party. We had a good understanding. I would be home by breakfast, and could go to the party as long as I got some rest, and did not do anything!
About 4:45am Ray and Lisa went outside to make phone calls, Ray called family, and Lisa called Holly, she was coming for the 2nd shift and to help get things going and settled in once we got home. About 5:15am, I was wheeled upstairs for surgery. It was about 5:30am, with Ray, Holly and Lisa saying their 'see ya in a bits'. The drug doctor came in explained to me what they were going to do as far as the medication. Other than on TV I had never seen the inside of an OR, it was kinda cool. I asked if I was going to have my eyes taped shut and he said 'Yes' he started to explain why, I looked back, and the next thing I knew Katrine the OR nurse was telling them not to put oven blankets on me...you know those HOT ones...the are warm...but i am too hot natured for that.
About 7:00am, Ray, Lisa & Holly were allowed to come into recovery. It was like the Twilight Zone....I was the only one there!!!! AUGH!!!! Dr Neil told Ray everything went great, and he gave Ray all the discharge directions. I was told as soon as I peed I could go home...so I had to go all of the sudden! I went to the bathroom, and was allowed to go. SO now the fun part getting dressed. I brought clean bottoms, but we had to catch Lisa on her way to the hospital to get me a shirt, my other one had blood all over it. So Ray is in the bathroom helping me get dressed, it took all had to not pass out. Anyone who know me knows I hate being down. So back in the wheel chair to my recovery area, to get some air and color back in my face!
Ray and Holly went to get the cars by the door, and Lisa went home to get some rest. As Dr Neil promised I was home before breakfast, Ray and Holly went and got Mickey D's. We talked to Logan and James when we got home. Thankfully Ray's sister Tina stayed at the house with the boys. We ate, and talked....it is very therapeutic for me. Holly left with her instructions of what to do for the party, Tina was a Saint and took the boys, and about 10:00am, I upheld my end of the bargain and went to bed. We slept until about 1:00pm, and got up to get ready for the party. (See He is 5!!!! Blog)
So in a nutshell, God made the decision for us on this pregnancy! And we are fine with it, it does hurt and we are grieving and handling this as a family as we should. Like I said talking is therapeutic for me!!! I don't want you to be sad for us. I want you to celebrate the blessings we have, each other, our son, our health, and our faith in God.
Thanks to everyone who lended a hand, and prayer and a heart in this time of need for us!

The craziest part of today we had to take Logan to the clinic...He has strep again..and Tarzan was on the TV!!! I have not been sleeping good the past few nights, the weather...the sick kid...and I have a gut feeling that tonight will not be any better. I am going to stay positive and know that God has an awesome plan for us!

On to Logan..at clinic today for a monthly diagnosis of strep throat. I have to take him to Dr Davidson in 2 weeks, and if he still test positive then he is carrying the strep virus, and we may have to talk about taking out his tonsils. The fun stuff we deal with...But I love him. He got a shot in his butt today, and he is feeling better. so on the 16th, we will see what Dr Davidson says.

He spent part of his actual birthday sick. But he is s trooper, and has pulled thru it.

1 comment:

  1. Missie,
    I feel so terrible that I did not know any of that. I have been a terrible friend to you and should have been there for you. Believe me I know exactly what you went through, went through it too many times to be able to seperate them now. You have been blessed with Logan and Ray, but it is still difficult. I still think on the anniversary of our girls births and deaths how old they would be, it still pulls at your heart. Please know I truly wish I could have been there to help you out.
    Love,
    Marcie

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