Being True to Yourself....

What does this mean to you? I have been thinking about this alot lately.
What does it mean to be true to yourself?
Since I have had the Lap-Band done, I have been trying to keep myself in check to make sure I stay true to who I AM!!!! I have awesome friends around me who love me for me, and an awesome family that supports me alot. But am I portraying and giving off the vibe I want too? Are people seeing me the way I see myself? When is the point in your life where you really have to re-evaluate everything about your self. Your job, your friends, your clothing, your relationships, your beliefs, your food choices, etc....
Are you getting what you need to in life? Are you happy in your relationships? Are you sure where you are going in life....Are you happy with your life.
If the swine flu were to take you today have you completed what you thought you would by this time in your life, and are you happy???
I wake up every morning knowing that my family is the most important thing to me and with out them I could not be where I am at at this time.
There are some things I would change. But I believe that in the past 35 yrs I have been true to myself. There was one relationship that I thought was it...but as Garth Brooks said, " I thank God for unanswered prayers! "
My ex CSD, I thought was it, but you know...When Ray walked into my life, I knew that his arms is where I was going to spend the rest of my life. We have talked over the years, and Ray has met him, I talked to him the night I had Logan. I do consider him to be a dear friend, he will always have a place in my heart. But you know when I saw him I knew I had been true to myself and made the right decision. I am here now with an awesome husband, a WONDERFUL son, and some great experiences from my life that will make realize the path I have taken is the right one..
So ask yourself...Are you making your decisions to be true to YOU or to make others happy with YOU???

Light at the End of the Tunnel

This week was C-R-A-Z-Y!!! Just an off week... I had my 1 month post op appt...and got angry. I have lost 21 pounds since surgery so that is good...I SHOULD be having a fill 6-8 weeks after surgery, so 2-4 weeks from now. That would be the week of May 11 or so. WELL my doctors 1st opening is JUNE 4th, at 3:00pm AUGH!!! So almost 2 months after surgery is when my 1st fill is scheduled. I am fist on the list if there is a cancellation (YEAH RIGHT) or if the doctor will agree to be overbooked...Apparently he does not have a PA to assist with some of his stuff, and the ones that he has is not trained in in FILLS!!!

So for the next several weeks I am pretty much on my own. I am pretty sure I can do it. I do have some restriction..but it is just irritating...This is how my week has been every little thing just wears on my nerves.

Hopefully things will get better soon!!!! Maybe it is the change of the seasons or the end of the school year, or just all the other BS and self induced drama I have...

Almost off Restrictions!!!

April 19, 2009 just 4 days from restrictions being lifted. I have been on mushies for 2 weeks now, maybe eating more than I should have, so the weight loss has not been as much as the 1st 2 weeks...of course not I am not eating food! But anyways at least 5 more pounds, there is another 'reason' for some retention!!!

I go back on Thursday to be released, and I think I will make the appt for my 1st fill somewhere around the first week in May. I am looking forward to it. I do have restriction now, and there is nothing in my bad, so I am sure that the fill will really make a difference.

We have lots going on with Logan in the next few weeks. If his behavior improves at school he is going to try out for the talent show, and sing 'Oh Sandy' from Grease...I hope he straightens up...he will be so good.

Hopefully this week will slow down some and I maybe able to post more.

You Tell Me!!!

I have not looked at them side by side yet....I will when I hit POST. But Yesterday was my 2 week check up. I am down 15 pounds from my surgery date, and 35 overall!!! I am on my way to the 75 pound goal, hopefully before the end of summer!!!

Here are my pics, the first one from Feb 23 - 309, the second from April 7 - 274!!!

Can believe I did this!

Here are some Pics of me on Feb 23, 1 month post op!
Will try to post some more from today.
weight 309!!!

3 More days of Liquids

I have been really busy this week so this many be a long blog!

Last weekend, I just layed around and rested as much a I could. I was still pretty tired from the surgery. So my weekend consisted of going from the bed, to the recliner, to the couch, and repeat as necessary!!! I was cold on Saturday so great weather to just be lazy! Sunday was just as uneventful.

I have been doing pretty good on the liquids! Although as previously stated, my pallet is not very happy with me right now. I have been eating (lol) tomato soup it has more flavor, and the liquified instant potatoes. It took me an hour to eat a serving of pudding....that is just wrong. But it tells me the band is working. I have cheated, just for a little thicker consistency, I have eaten Taco Bell's Pintos & cheese....Now before anyone yells and tells me how BAD they are...cal 160, fat 5g, carb 23g, protein 6g...when you are consuming less that 600 calories a day...that is not bad. I am ready to be able to do some physical activity...although I think I pulled a muscle in my side Thursday night. I was just sitting in the truck and turned to the left to pick something up...then it took my breath away...damn it hurts!

At work got a new boss, he seems really nice, but it has only been a week, and we are in the middle of quarter end so we will have to see how things go. He has made some positive changes and that is a plus. Everyone does agree he has a calming sense to him.

Tuesday my dad had a procedure to locate a blockage in his leg, well come to find out, it was a 5 inch in his pelvic area, and 70%-80% blockage to the kidneys. The next procedure is scheduled for Friday the 10th I think, there is lots of drama behind all of this, so I am not sure I will get a phone call about it...Sad I know, but the cause of it is just a family secret that cause more drama....I have been reading on lapbandtalk.com, it seems once a person makes a decision to have this procedure, something major happens to someone else in their family. I will just keep praying that all is well with Daddy, and pray for the other issues in my family...I mean they have been there as long as I can remember, and probably always will be...If you remember from my previous blog...of the other 3 siblings only 1 has even talked to me since I did the Lapband. WOW that is caring isn't it???

Logan had TKD and is doing really good, I just wish he would focus a little better at school, and get stickers instead of write ups. Grade wise he is doing great, but following one of the other kids in his class that he should not needs to STOP!!! And he knows it. They are having a Karate Olympics on The 24th and I have him signed up for that. The kids will get to compete in for different events with a chance to win up to 4 medals. And you know with the little kids it is about them having something to show for their accomplishments!

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. Oh yeah...for any of you future banders out there...(you know who I am talking too) when you are on the liquid phase and if you like tortilla soup from the Mexican food establishments. your best bet is El Finex, they bring the broth to the table and let you pour it in the bowl, just order without the tortilla strips, they put the cheese & avocado in the bowl and if the avocado gets mushy enough from the broth then mush it up for a little treat...Last night we ate at On The Border...Their soup has RICE in it...so if you order from there order with out RICE....there was lots of broth I could not get to because of the rice. Only a few more days...and then the mushies...I will be so ready.

Lets see what else...Oh yeah met a net Internet friend..I am not one to get personal with people I talk to on line, but this person is walking the same path I am. She messaged me through the lapband forum I am on. She asked me about Dr Scott. I just can not say enough nice things about the Dr & Ray feels the same ways. He said that Dr Scott communicated really good with him after the surgery and he has always been very attentive in the office. I had to call the office on Tuesday because my tapes on my belly button were coming off. Susan the nurse said as long as they were not attached to the incision then could come off. Well all 3 of them came off and it looks great. From what I can see he did a horseshoe cut around the inside of my bellybutton. The tapes at my breastbone are still there. So they will come off on Tuesday when I go for my 1st Post-Op appt. I just hope that I am able to relay my experiences and my happiness with Dr Scott to her and she is as happy as I am. She should be getting her appointments set up soon. So I will be praying for her! Oh yeah and to make the pressure on me even more - She reads my blogs....So therefore I have another person I must keep up my sharp sense of humor far as well as my quick-wittedness (sarcasm to some) that you all know and love!!!

This journey that I am on could not be as positive for me if it were not for all of the positive people around me! Supporting me in the decision. The blog has helped finding ways to just talk and very with or with comments. Lots of love to all of you!!! Muah